PUSHTI: November 2024, IT’S NOT PERSONAL
“If you blame someone else, there’s no end to the blame.” – Lao Tzu, Tao Te ChinG
Kindness and compassion definitely are at the foundation of our practice. But make no mistake: yoga practice will bash your ego. That’s how you know it’s real. An authentic and genuine practice will challenge every notion of ego: who you think you are and what you believe. This understanding alone will help one diminish any identification one has with being a victim. The ego can mire us in addictive victimhood to the extent that our lives become bereft of any lasting joy.
Basically, anytime we find ourselves taking something personal, it is an indication that ego consciousness is running the show. Even if someone is coming directly at you, it’s not personal. Many sage teachers put a high value on getting humbled. Chogyam Trungpa said “the spiritual path is painful… it involves insult after insult” and Swami Sivananda said the highest yoga is to “bear insult and bear injury.” And Mother Theresa is famous for saying, “love them anyway.” When we identify with Soul or Self, we connect to that aspect of what we really are: indestructible, eternal. As stated in the Bhagavad Gita, the Soul: fire cannot burn it, time cannot age it, a knife cannot cut it, water cannot drown it.
“When somebody upsets me, that’s my problem.” – Ram Dass
The equanimity we cultivate in our yoga practice – allowing ourselves to be led in motion and breath, engaging in things that challenge us, taking personal responsibility for our own happiness, to name a few – creates an ease and flow with life. A great truth is discovered: no one has the power to make us unhappy or happy unless we allow it. In other words, others are truly powerless and deserve none of the blame – so let them off the hook.
When His Holiness The Dalai Lama was asked if he was angry at the Chinese for invading Tibet – which included some of the most heinous acts known to humankind, like rape and murder, and where his personal flight of refuge from certain capture or death was to literally walk across the Himalayas – his response was, “No, that’s not functional.” And his life is a living example of this compassion.
Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning and Holocaust survivor, claims his survival in concentration camps came from humor, compassion towards his Nazi captors, and responsibility for his own actions to not see himself as a victim. In fact, it was only under these extreme conditions that he allowed this truth to be discovered. Powerful.
In my own personal journey, not seeing my mother’s suicide as something that personally affects me has allowed for immense self-healing and has brought a depth of understanding that is at the very foundation of any effectiveness I may have as a teacher. Yoga has fostered this level of acceptance.
The reality is we all get hung up at times and can find it extremely hard to let go or at the very least, let it be. But we must. And why must we? Because when we don’t, we carry on the battle within ourselves that we project outward, and that is at the very root of all conflict. We contribute to the chain of pain. We inherit it and in all fanfare pass it on to our younger generations. So to help us identify what may trip us up, the Satsang teachers and I had a powwow and came up with a list of things that we might take personally. Enjoy:
Any text or email, Death, Vegans, Cancer, Being called the wrong pronoun, Cancelled plans, Another’s bad mood, Leaving the seat up, Parents/kids, Saying or not saying hi, Stealing a parking space, Cursing, Being lied to, Chosen last, Being critiqued, Being complimented, Excluded from plans, People not showing up to class, Getting called out in class, Being unfollowed, Being ghosted, Trolls, Falling out of love, Gossip, Screaming, Political views, The universe, Mansplaining, Backseat drivers, Basically everything and the list goes on.
As the results of our tumultuous election cycle loom, let us embrace the compassion and forgiveness yoga fosters and resolve to be kind to ourselves and one another – no matter how awful and unforgivable our/their actions may seem. May our kindness allow us to rejoice in our individual connection to the abundant, resplendent source of the Soul.
In Yoga we dwell,
Jeffrey
November 2024